content warning for text below: child rape
Growing up with Great Pressure is originally a song by Tai Yi inspired by the Korean movie Hope. Hope is based off a real life high profile case in Korea where a young girl on the way to school is brutally raped and mutilated. Despite the severity of the crime, her assaulter is given a light sentence(I believe he was actually recently let out of jail). The song lyrics are incredibly heartbreaking, but also well written, using a variety of symbolism and double meaning between the words. The lyrics describe the physical pain the girl experiences. For example, the lyrics gesture at a seed growing within her stomach, a sinister euphemism for the rape. The lyrics constantly call out the actions of her oppressors. She asks: "Why strangle me, wring me, and tear me down? Why choke me, bite me, and bully me?" These lyrics also have an ingenious double meaning. She is both referring to the actions of her assaulter, but also of the people around her, who engage in the all too often practice of victim blaming. Rather than offering her support, they instead ostracize her.
The song, therefore, also captures a multitude of complex emotions that the girl feels as a consequence of the rape. Loneliness, being ostracized, crying out at the unjustice in the world. A recurring theme throughout the song is: why me? From these lyrics, we come to understand the full impact of the rape. Rape is not just physical pain, but also has lasting emotional consequences, many of which can be prevented.
Liu Jun, a current contestant on Youth with You 3, a popular Chinese television show, is the original choroegrapher for the cover I perform here. Liu Jun performed an abbreviated version of this dance on the show as well as creating his own MV for a full length version. Liu Jun's choreography masterfully captures the emotional depth of the song. For example, he uses gestures that repeatedly point at himself, as if to say: why me?
Finally, one interesting thing of note about Liu Jun's choreography is that within the complex layers of emotions within the dance, Liu Jun also adds a layer of hope to it all. Speaking in an interview on his choreography, Liu Jun describes that the imagery of the stomach growing bigger does not necessarily have to be taken literally. The seed in the stomach therefore serves as a double symbol. One, for the rape. But secondly, seeds germinate and blossom into flowers. Liu Jun's interpretation is that the seeds and stomach, therefore, represent the hope that the young girl carries with her. Despite being ostracized and abandoned by everyone around her, she continues to have hope and tries her hardest to carve out her spot in the world. This is not to say rape is a hopeful event. It is the exact opposite. But, the layer of hope within these emotions is meant to suggest that onlookers should not view rape victims as just that: victims. But instead, they are strong individuals who carry their own hopes and dreams. After his performance on Youth With You 3, Liu Jun speaks on the meaning of the final choreographic step in the piece: standing up and taking a step out. "If nobody else is willing to stand up for me, I am willing to make my own sunshine."
I previously did a cover for Liu Jun's abbreviated version which he performed on Youth With You 3. However, I felt like it did not adequately cover the meaning and emotional depth that this dance is meant to inspire. My dancing style has tended to be more along the lines of graceful and elegant(probably due to my ballet background), so performing a dance that is both more complex but also raw in emotion was a challenge for me. One explanation on the setting choice: I performed this by the window such that the dimly lit room forms the foreground with a bright background from outside the window. This is meant to serve as a symbol for the juxtaposition between hope and loneliness.
I also decided to take the time to translate the lyrics of the song so as to make it more accessible to different audiences who may not necessarily understand Chinese. Translating this song was honestly quite a challenge and I came to really appreciate the nuances required in translation. The song is not direct in its lyrics, but rather uses many euphemisms and symbolisms. It also utilizes a childlike tone in many instances, as the song is from the perspective of the child. It was difficult to translate in a way which conveyed the tone, meaning, and symbolism all at the same time, while also maintaining coherence and eloquence. Ultimately I felt that, as these lyrics are just subtitles, it would be best to translate in a way that is most easily digestable, as the reader would not have the time to read between the lines and figure out the symbolism due to the fast pace nautre of subtitles. Maybe someday I will translate the lyrics to do the song more justice.
My hope is that between setting choice, performance of the chroegraphy, and editting decisions, I was able to adequately convey both the sadness but also the thread of hope that the girl feels.
Be kind. Don't be bystanders and don't victim blame.
If you need to, the 24/7 national sexual assault hotline number is: 1-800-656-4673. Visit their website here: https://www.rainn.org/